Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
