I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
