he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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