um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
