I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
