im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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