saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He shit in the fireplace
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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