He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Let's paint friendship bongs
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
