The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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