She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
