i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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