i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
