my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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