Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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