You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
