A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
