its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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