the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
