Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
