he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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