I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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