whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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