they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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