I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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