After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
