WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
