Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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