that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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