We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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