I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
