Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
