More tranny stories later!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
