hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
