Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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