Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
