it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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