It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
