Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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