I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
