My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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