im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
