I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
