If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
