so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
