i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
