We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
