Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
