On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
