For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
