Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
