u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
